Hi! I’m Alison. I’m a comedian. I pay the bills by playing people on TV, in movies and online. I also write words and worry too much. I have an embarrassingly low level of fame where no one knows my name, but they have this feeling that they went to school with me. I like firm handshakes, information, my dog, smart people and the Earth. I’m on Parks and Rec sometimes and VH1 even more. I’m sorry if I once pranked you on MTV. But, c’mon! That was fun, right?Tumblr (3.0; @alisonbecker)http://alisonbecker.com/<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vxgF0it2cfw?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE?!</p>http://alisonbecker.com/post/23744943990http://alisonbecker.com/post/23744943990Fri, 25 May 2012 11:59:47 -0700brian mcknight<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m394c0i5iE1qzya49o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/22245711925http://alisonbecker.com/post/22245711925Wed, 02 May 2012 00:15:30 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwk7iq097B1qfjjglo1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwk7iq097B1qfjjglo2_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwk7iq097B1qfjjglo3_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwk7iq097B1qfjjglo4_250.gif"/><br/> <br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/21314950135http://alisonbecker.com/post/21314950135Tue, 17 Apr 2012 23:26:38 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2fgj5ZBWX1qzx3jto1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/21051330744http://alisonbecker.com/post/21051330744Fri, 13 Apr 2012 16:58:27 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m282bwsbnU1qz6f9yo1_r1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>i want to feel like this. </p>http://alisonbecker.com/post/20803104813http://alisonbecker.com/post/20803104813Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:24:54 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo2_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo3_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo4_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo5_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo6_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo7_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ysslEdFn1qjraczo8_250.gif"/><br/> <br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/20538389442http://alisonbecker.com/post/20538389442Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:55:57 -0700<a href="http://steveagee.tumblr.com/post/20420009888">Tumblr's Steve Agee: actual conversation overheard</a>: <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://steveagee.tumblr.com/post/20420009888">steveagee</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Last night I was sitting in my car outside of the Tiger Lily show in Hollywood. About 20 yards away, in the Dennys parking lot, I overheard the following conversation from a group of very “gangster” looking black guys and wrote it down on my phone.</p> <p>guy 1: Nigga, the North Star isn’t a fucking…</p> </blockquote>http://alisonbecker.com/post/20446271277http://alisonbecker.com/post/20446271277Tue, 03 Apr 2012 19:32:21 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1x0ntrYRL1qzx3jto1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/20446071469http://alisonbecker.com/post/20446071469Tue, 03 Apr 2012 19:29:10 -0700“<p>Is he hoping that all female sitcoms turn into Two and A Half Men? Because that would make my vagina very very angry. </p> <p>Sorry if women are funnier than you, dude. </p> <p>Actually, I’m not sorry.</p>”<br/><br/> - <em><blockquote> <p><em>Two and a Half Men</em> co-creator Lee Aronsohn <a href="http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/lee-aronsohn-ashton-kutcher-two-and-a-half-men-306787">tells <em>THR</em></a> he doesn’t much care for lady-centric sitcoms. (via <a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://newsweek.tumblr.com/">newsweek</a>)</p> <p>(via <a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://glamsoda.tumblr.com/">glamsoda</a>)</p> </blockquote> <p><span>This interview also contains the quote “But we’re approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation,” which has to be one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen a professional person say in a professional interview. This guy might be putting on some kind of act, he might be a delightful feminist in person, maybe he was just having a weird day (WHAT DO I KNOW?) but if you are seriously looking at the 4-5 “ladies comedies” on television right now out of several dozen total sitcoms and saying “aahhhhhhh!!!! it’s just too much!!!!” you should be talking to your shrink about it, not the Hollywood Reporter. </span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><span>Sussy nails it splendidly (apologies for offending anyone with the phrase “Sussy nails it”)</span></p> <div><span><br/></span></div></em>http://alisonbecker.com/post/20365905166http://alisonbecker.com/post/20365905166Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:00:32 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ic3fctMs1rs8zcio1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This is the only thing that has made me laugh all year. </p>http://alisonbecker.com/post/20193163822http://alisonbecker.com/post/20193163822Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:17:36 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyhac7a3lJ1r4zr2vo1_r1_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://headlikeanorange.tumblr.com/post/17623128240">headlikeanorange</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>ROAR!!!!</p> </blockquote>http://alisonbecker.com/post/20051530276http://alisonbecker.com/post/20051530276Tue, 27 Mar 2012 22:18:19 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz8u0xiAE31qewacoo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz8u0xiAE31qewacoo2_500.png"/><br/> <br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/19671346551http://alisonbecker.com/post/19671346551Tue, 20 Mar 2012 23:47:24 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0hsebK4fS1qzo748o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/18879277540http://alisonbecker.com/post/18879277540Tue, 06 Mar 2012 18:03:47 -0800<iframe frameborder="0" width="400" height="225" src="http://d.yimg.com/nl/vyc/site/player.html#lang=en-US&vid=28507606&shareUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fscreen.yahoo.com%2Fhungry-games-28507606.html&browseCarouselUI=hide&repeat=0&startScreenCarouselUI=hide"></iframe><br/><br/><p>“We wouldn’t eat 5 pies before they got us.”</p>http://alisonbecker.com/post/18809452140http://alisonbecker.com/post/18809452140Mon, 05 Mar 2012 14:17:53 -0800sketchycomedyyahoo!nick krausethe descendantserin gibsonhungry gamescomedyhunger gamesthe hunger games<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyeumrVQYC1qzya49o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/18567802452http://alisonbecker.com/post/18567802452Thu, 01 Mar 2012 13:46:23 -0800<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/2096737?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="400" height="300" frameborder="0"></iframe><br/><br/><p>When I have a shitty day, I try to remember that I’ve had some pretty fun times. Like hanging out with Bret Michaels on his tour bus. So, SUCK it, world. </p>http://alisonbecker.com/post/18449712381http://alisonbecker.com/post/18449712381Tue, 28 Feb 2012 12:25:41 -0800poisonpoison bandpoison musicbret michaels<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzppe4wZq41qznheco1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/18018858165http://alisonbecker.com/post/18018858165Tue, 21 Feb 2012 10:32:52 -0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzjpbxPlHz1qakblyo1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzjpbxPlHz1qakblyo2_400.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzjpbxPlHz1qakblyo3_400.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzjpbxPlHz1qakblyo4_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p>I loved this man so much when I was child. </p>http://alisonbecker.com/post/17920328162http://alisonbecker.com/post/17920328162Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:06:16 -0800<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZEMPpyJyB_0?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>“Dating Rules” has gotten over 5 million views on YouTube and over 2 million on Hulu. We’re SO psyched you guys love it! Here’s more fun news - Shiri Appleby and I will be doing a LIVE Facebook chat on Tuesday! We’ll take your questions on dating. More info <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/321539791214970/" title="fb chat">here</a>. Please join! This will be so fun!!! Bring your own Bloody Mary!</p>http://alisonbecker.com/post/17915427492http://alisonbecker.com/post/17915427492Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:43:05 -0800dating ruleshulufacebookshiri applebyroswelllife unexpecteddatingalison beckerucbcomedyadvice<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzapn2dP0j1qzya49o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://alisonbecker.com/post/17525768031http://alisonbecker.com/post/17525768031Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:31:48 -0800